An Introduction to the Self

This is the final taster lesson. What you are about to watch comes directly from the very first unit of the Level 5 Diploma. Every student who has ever trained with us has begun their journey here, with this question: who are you, really?

It sounds straightforward. It turns out to be anything but.

Before you watch

As you watch, think about how you would answer the question if someone asked you right now: who are you? What would you say? And do you think that answer is really you, or is it a description of the roles you play and the labels you have collected over a lifetime?

Activity – Watch and Reflect

Watch the video above. When you have finished, click the Notes tab at the top of this page and write down your answer to this question:

If someone asked you who you are right now, what would you say? And how much of that answer is really you?

There is no right answer. The point is simply to begin sitting with the question, because that is exactly where every student on this course begins.

Click to reveal – The key ideas from this lesson

What is self-concept?

Self-concept is the picture we create of ourselves from our own subjective reality. It is made up of the beliefs, values, and characteristics we have come to hold as our truth. It develops throughout our lives, from the tangible descriptions of childhood to the increasingly complex sense of identity we carry into adulthood.

We see the world not as it is, but as we are

The truths that make up our self-concept shape how we see and interpret everything around us. As a counsellor, this matters enormously. If you are not aware of your own distortions, assumptions, and blind spots, they will influence how you hear and respond to your clients, often without you realising it. This is why self-awareness is not optional in counselling training. It is foundational.

Conditions of worth

From an early age, many of us absorb the message that we are valued when we meet certain conditions. When we achieve, behave in particular ways, or fulfil the expectations of the people around us. Over time these become part of our self-concept, often without us knowing it. When life does not match those ingrained beliefs, the result can be a painful sense of mismatch or incongruence. Understanding where these conditions come from, and helping clients gently examine them, is at the heart of person-centred counselling work.

What this means for the counselling relationship

A client entering counselling may hold deeply held truths about themselves that are causing them real pain, truths that feel so fundamental they may even defend them when they are challenged. The counsellor’s role is not to argue with those truths but to create the conditions in which the client can begin to examine them safely, at their own pace, and move gradually from measuring their worth by external standards towards a more authentic sense of who they actually are.

This is just the beginning

What you have just seen is a glimpse of Unit 1 of the diploma. On the full course this topic is explored over several weeks, with guided activities, group discussion, practical reflection, and personal development work that builds gradually as the year progresses. The question of who you are does not get answered in a single lesson. It gets lived with, returned to, and deepened over the entire two years of training.

When you are ready, mark this lesson as complete and move on.

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